Ma che stai dicendo, AI?

For those who don’t read Italian, my title asks “What on earth are you saying, AI?”

While I am sure it has its uses, I remain skeptical about AI. I stubbornly stick to the idea that it is one tiny millimeter away from flat-out plagiarism. I am not a teacher, but if I had a student who simply took all the source material and rewrote it in AI-style, with the vaguest of citations, I don’t think I’d be doling out amazing grades.

But it is 2025, and here we are…

Since AI simply scrapes the web to steal – I mean, highlight – different articles and publications on various topics, I would have to be extremely well acquainted with all the literature on a certain topic to understand if AI were useful or dodgy in pontificating on said topic.

But, as an author, there is one topic I know extremely well, both the original subject matter and all subsequent reviews and press : my own books and short stories.

So I tested AI on my own novels and it was – if not impressive – at least serviceable.

It did manage to come up with major themes and plot points (to be fair, without spoilers, which is more than I can say for many reviewers) by pulling from blurbs, reviews and articles. Much of the language was lifted directly from my own. Were I grading a paper, I might give it a C+ or, were I feeling generous, a B-.

But then I gave it a try with my short stories. In this exercise I learned, when AI doesn’t know something, it’s a little like my fifth-grade classmate, Bob.

Bob, for some reason unbeknownst to the rest of us, never did the homework or read the assigned chapters. The teacher knew it and all the students knew it. But, unfortunately for all of us, Bob was never at a loss for words when called upon in class. “I am sorry. I didn’t read the assignment,” were not words that ever passed Bob’s lips when called upon. He would – to our great amusement – simply invent wild stuff on the spot, and it became a bit of a treat to wonder what Bob would pull out of his magician’s hat each time.

Decades later, cue in AI…

In reading the summaries provided of one of my short stories, I can only hope my old classmate Bob is now some tech genius raking in the cash in Silicon Valley – and having a laugh at all the rest of us.

If that’s the case: More power to you, Bob!

So, I chose “Roman Snow”, one of the short stories in my collection, Drink Wine and Be Beautiful. I specifically chose a story that had not been previously published in online journals, so that AI could not just trawl the story and spew out the standard AI-style plot summary. However, I selected a story I had written blog posts on and I know others had commented on in reviews.

Briefly, my story tells the story of two women stuck in the Fiumicino airport during one of Rome’s (rare) snowstorms. Older American Geraldine has led a sheltered life, and is traveling internationally for the first time. Younger British traveler Nicola trades in on her looks to attract wealthier men who can bankroll her expensive tastes. A luggage mix-up jolts both of these women into a reckoning – and the chance, for one night only, to live in another’s skin.

But AI was having none of it…

Twice it created a Hallmarky movie romance, complete with a romance – and even characters – that were not in my story at all. When I said that didn’t match the plot, AI apologized, and, much like my former classmate Bob, simply spun out another fabricated yarn.

Here are the two plot summaries of my story, were AI to hijack my writing, which, honestly, it kind of did.

AI Take One

Plot of “Roman Snow”:

“The story centers around an American woman named Claire, who is spending the Christmas season in Rome. Claire, an expatriate, is feeling somewhat lonely and out of place during the festive period, as she is away from her family and friends back in the United States.

The narrative unfolds on a snowy Christmas Eve, which is unusual for Rome. This unexpected snowfall adds a magical, almost otherworldly atmosphere to the city, contrasting with Claire’s internal sense of isolation.

Claire decides to venture out into the snow-covered streets, initially to escape the confines of her apartment but also to experience Rome in this rare weather condition. While walking, she encounters a local Italian man named Luca. They meet by chance when Luca offers to help her after she nearly slips on the ice.

This encounter leads to a spontaneous walk through Rome, where they discuss art, culture, and the peculiarities of celebrating Christmas in Italy compared to America. Their conversation is light, filled with laughter, and gradually shifts to more personal topics, revealing aspects of their lives, dreams, and the sense of displacement that comes with living abroad.

As they walk, Rome’s landmarks like the Colosseum and the Pantheon are described under the gentle fall of snow, creating a romantic and introspective backdrop to their growing connection.

The story culminates in a moment of shared solitude at a small, nearly empty café where they enjoy a glass of wine together. This interaction not only warms Claire physically but also emotionally, providing her with a sense of belonging and connection she hadn’t anticipated.

The story ends with a sense of possibility and new beginnings, as they part ways with the promise of meeting again, leaving readers with the feeling that this chance meeting might evolve into something more significant. The snowfall, which had started as a symbol of Claire’s loneliness, transforms into a metaphor for new opportunities and the beauty found in unexpected moments.”

Ummm … not to intrude on Claire’s icy rescue by heroic Luca and that romantic glass of wine they share in the deserted café that changes Claire’s life forever, but who on earth are these people and what do they have to do with my story?

I may have been a bit annoyed with Bob … I mean, AI … telling him this did not AT ALL resemble the story in “Roman Snow.”

But Bob/AI did not throw in the towel, instead inventing an entirely new story, with a separate set of characters falling in love under the Roman snow.

Cue in to a non-existent Grace and Marco and their “passionate but fraught relationship” filled with “misunderstandings and cultural differences.”

I almost felt sorry for Grace and Marco. Unlike Claire and Luca, their love did not blossom over wine in a deserted café, but apparently while standing in a park under a blinding snowstorm like a pair of dolts – shivering and falling in love while the snow falls and until it melts. (???) 

Aaaaand Take Two….

“Roman Snow encapsulates themes of loneliness, the serendipity of human connection, and the transformative power of a new cultural experience during a traditionally family-centric holiday.”

Plot summary of Kimberly Sullivan’s short story, Roman Snow, in her collection Drink Wine and Be Beautiful

Answer

“Here is a plot summary of “Roman Snow” by Kimberly Sullivan, from her collection Drink Wine and Be Beautiful:

“Roman Snow” is set in Rome during a rare snowfall, which adds a unique and magical backdrop to the story. The narrative follows an American woman named Grace, who is living in Rome and dealing with the complexities of her personal life and relationships.

Grace is in the midst of a romantic entanglement with an Italian man named Marco. Their relationship is passionate but fraught with misunderstandings and cultural differences. The snow in Rome becomes a metaphor for the unusual and fleeting nature of their relationship.

On the day of the snow, Grace and Marco have a significant encounter. They meet by chance in a snowy park, which leads to a heartfelt conversation where they confront their feelings and the future of their relationship. The snow symbolizes both the beauty and the fleeting nature of their connection.

The story explores themes of love, cultural identity, and the transient nature of human connections. Grace reflects on her life in Italy, her sense of belonging, and the transient joy that the snow brings to the city, paralleling her own transient happiness with Marco.

The ending leaves Grace contemplating her choices, with the snow melting away just as her time with Marco might be coming to an end. It’s a poignant moment of realization and acceptance, capturing the bittersweet essence of their relationship against the backdrop of Rome’s unexpected winter wonderland.”

 

Unlike my classmate Bob – and AI itself – I am speechless.

I could understand a very vague, meaningless summary about two women, a snowstorm and reevaluating one’s life, but I was not expecting completely made-up love stories with made-up characters.

I don’t even write love stories – not really. My writing has romantic elements, but even those with defined love stories are more firmly based in women’s fiction. But if I did write pure romance novels, I’d like to think I wouldn’t come up with paper-thin plots like these that would make even a Hallmark Christmas movie director blush in embarrassment.

So, what gives, AI? If there are aspiring authors among the programmers, I suggest they write in their own names rather than attaching these stories onto author profiles.

As for me, I am contemplating becoming a gritty thriller writer so I can knock off Claire and Luca and Grace and Marco… surrounded by Roman snow, of course.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk…